ars longa

3 / 24 / 07

Today I was extremely restless, and the weather was pretty decent, and I wanted to get out of the apartment. Trouble was, it was already about 4 p.m., and I knew I wanted to GO somewhere, but what was open then?

Well, the Met was open till 9, so there.

I at first wanted to venture to the Museum of American Folk Art, or the Museum of Natural History, as I hadn't been to one at all and the other, not for at least 5 or 6 years. But they would be closed soon after I got there, and frankly, "pay what you wish" is music to my ears as I'm on a new, determined mission to save money and curb my spending.

I didn't really know what to see, because I felt like I'd seen it all a dozen times, and then realized that I HADN'T seen most of the American Wing. I was shocked I'd missed it all this time, but then again, I'm thoroughly convinced that the Met is a complex labyrinth only traveled by those with Art degrees and an intense amount of patience and/or lack of care as to where they're going.

I expected to stay for an hour or so, and i stayed for almost three. Everything was gorgeous, amazing, etc., all over again. I got to really look at the Byzantine jewelery, something I always passed by. It's at the beginning of the museum, see; I always said I'd look on the way out, and instead I'm too wiped or forget about it when that happens.

Here's why I'm fascinated by those types of artifacts. Okay, so my favorite thing that I discovered today was a fish-shaped stopper. I read the little description, because I thought, "What in the fuck reason is there to spend so much time and effort making an elaborate bottle on a chain?" and it said only that it was probably used to take oils to the baths. And that just made me giggle. Because there's such an elitism in art, in students of art especially, in terms of, "Who cares about Louis Vuitton's latest $2000 bag?" I've had semi-heated fights with people over the importance of fashion and pop culture in general; I can never seem to find someone who feels it's as important to society and history as I do.

The thing is, maybe our newest Louis Vuitton bag (which, yes, I do consider those purses a work of art, goddammit) is like the fish stopper of the Byzantine era. Paris Hilton shows up to the party with the bag; the hot Byzantine celebrity or rich person of the day shows up at the baths with his fish stopper. The bag took a lot of time and artistry to design and to manufacture, with only the best materials, as did the stopper. We scoff at the idea that things like purses, dresses, etc., could ever be important in times of oppression and warfare, but I tend to believe that it's a sign that at least someone is attempting to put real effort and craftsmanship into something as inconsequential as a purse - or something used to carry bath oil. Who knows, maybe some guy on the street saw Mr. Byzantine walking to the bath trying to look casual as he carried his little stopper and snorted, "He thinks he's such hot shit - I'm having one in the shape of an ox made right now. Wait'll he sees THAT."

The interesting and fantastic part about all of this is the fact that, in the end, what is that fish-stopper that cost a million of whatever-the-Byzantine-currency-was placed across the hall from? The shoes, hats, tapestries, and everything-elses of the peasants they may have dismissed. In the end, we are in fact on equal footing in the world, whether it's soon after or long after. Everything we owned and worked for has meaning, and it IS recognized, whether in our life time or not. There is some kind of calmness we should get out of that. Art turns out to be the Great Equalizer.

This next part has nothing to do with the above, BUT it is more in spirit with my actual personality:

A museum scavenger hunt. Seems harmless, right? Actually, kind of fun. I thought so too. Until I encountered about 5 times a group of the most OBNOXIOUS adults EVER doig their own little scavenger hunt throughout the Met. They didn't just "hunt," which connotes stealth and wit, they TROMPED through that museum like Alexander's horses shouting to each other across rooms, "Is it in there?!!!!! We need a SAINT-GO-DANS!"

Anyone who's been in the Met, or hell, any museum, is appreciative of the quiet that befalls most of the rooms. It is quite ridiculous to have it interrupted by people who don't really give a shit about art, but instead are probably attempting to win some lame prize like a tshirt or commemorable watch.

Another insight into quiet: Sir, you and your girlfriend's opinions about whatever recreated room of American furniture we are viewing is not in the LEAST appreciated by myself or anyone else around us. Reading the plaque and then repeating the information does not in the least make you an expert. However, I have to say that your talent at SOMEHOW finding the same room I happen to be in, despite my desperate attempts to get away from you, is admirable. Your intention seemed to be to irritate me all damn night, but fortunately I lost you in the Frank Lloyd Wright room, and thank Christ, because if you'd ruined my viewing one of the few architects I actually knew something about and can recognize on-sight, I would've gotten a spear from the Medieval section and taught you a lesson.

Buttheads + Museums = Barf.